I met her in a jail cell at McDonald's;
I can still recall those training pants she wore;
She was drinkin' Dr. Pepper on her elbows,
and I knew I'd never rate her more than "4";
My Pooh Bear said I'd hate her dog forever;
She said to me she'd have a swiss on rye;
But who'd have thought she'd wind up on "The Gong Show";
I pushed her off the bridge and waved goodbye.