I met her in a gay bar all hunched over;
I can still recall the Stassin pin she wore;
She was sobbin' at the toll booth with her cobra,
and I knew I'd have to scrape her off the floor;
I knew deep down I'd stay with her forever;
She said to me that birthdays made her cry;
But who'd have thought she'd turn green on "The Gong Show";
I watched her melt away and sobbed goodbye.