I met her on probation with Merv Griffin;
I can still recall the stolen goods she wore;
She was sobbin' at the toll booth with Led-Zeppelin,
and I knew that she was rotten to the core;
Her rabbi said I'd play "Go Fish" forever;
She said to me our love would never die;
But who'd have thought she'd blast off in my Edsel;
She sealed me in the vault and smirked goodbye.