I met her on the highway poppin' uppers;
I can still recall the boxer shorts she wore;
She was drinkin' Dr. Pepper with Miss Piggy,
and I knew I'd have to scrape her off the floor;
My hamster thought I'd hate her dog forever;
She said to me she'd have a swiss on rye;
But who'd have thought she'd wind up with no clothes on;
I watched her melt away and sobbed goodbye.