I met her in Sheboygan with Merv Griffin;
I can still recall that purple dress she wore;
She was breakin' out with acne with Led-Zeppelin,
and I knew what strong deodorants were for;
I promised her I'd live off her forever;
She said to me she liked "Spy vs. Spy";
But who'd have thought she'd blast off on "The Gong Show";
She fell beneath the wheels and cried goodbye.