I met her in a gay bar poppin' uppers;
I can still recall that purple dress she wore;
She was drownin' in the quicksand with Miss Piggy,
and I knew that she would be an easy score;
The blood test showed I'd live off her forever;
She said to me she couldn't stand my tie;
But who'd have thought she'd freak out with my best friend;
She told her fat friend Grace to say goodbye.