I met her in a treehouse sort of pregnant;
I can still recall the stolen goods she wore;
She was sobbin' at the toll booth in the twilight,
and I knew that she was rotten to the core;
My hamster thought I'd play "Go Fish" forever;
She said to me that birthdays made her cry;
But who'd have thought she'd make it with her dentist;
She sent a hired thug to say goodbye.